


Principles of Containers and Their Application

by BL00JIINS



Category: Naruto
Genre: For Dummies, Gen, Professor Itachi, literally trash, possibly spoilers but who knows, you can't believe you spent money on this book
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 06:58:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11823558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BL00JIINS/pseuds/BL00JIINS
Summary: Select excerpts from Uchiha Itachi's controversial sequel to his best-selling work, 'How To: Plan Ahead.' Covers the fundaments of building shinobi strength, beginning with introductory topics such as Material and Capacity, and ending with more advanced topics for seasoned fighters. Suitable for shinobi of varying experiences, from Genin all the way to Moon level.





	1. The Foundation: Material

It is a well-known fact that people live their lives with their perspectives constrained by illusory comforts. What we see and believe on a day to day basis is based entirely on presumptions we develop throughout our lives, as well as the things we naturally take for granted. As such, our ability to accurately gauge a critical situation may be severely hampered by such prejudices.

However, breaking free of these binds is possible with a simple shift in perspective. I presume this is what you are reading this for, otherwise you wouldn't have bought my book.

We may begin at a small scale.

The first illusion, of course, is the illusion of **Physical Material**. Why can we be certain that a distant mountain is made of stone? If we touch it, and it feels like stone, is it still stone? In an example more relevant to the aspect of shinobi: if a kunai is thrown in your direction and pierces your flesh, how can you be sure that the kunai is real?(1) Is its reality defined by the pain? What if you were impervious to pain, what then?

These questions apply to nearly all aspects of our experienced reality, and taking your surroundings and situation for granted can be the difference between life and death. For example, how can you be sure that this isn't just an elaborate genjutsu created by yours truly? In fact, how do you know if this entire book isn't a sham? Accurately judging the Material aspects of this world is crucial in remaining grounded in reality.

Similarly, the Material of a 'Container' must be accurately judged if one is to be able to become a powerful shinobi.

The most critical factor in a shinobi's success is foods not contaminated by carcinogens. This is a major concern for most shinobi, particularly missing-nin, because missing-nin are forced to use unconventional means to heat up their food when there is no convenience of a nice campfire, and so they are frequently exposed to the carcinogens found in common tupperware. 

        

> _While the vast majority of Tupperware products are considered safe, for example, some of its food storage containers use polycarbonate (plastic #7), which has been shown to leach the harmful hormone-disrupting chemical Bisphenol A (BPA) into food items after repeated uses. -Popular Konoha Science; Aug 5, 2008_

The first step in transcending this Container is to simply change the container itself and shop carefully in regards to its material versus its cost(2). While plastic tupperware is cheap and can be quite durable, it is up to the shinobi to find a tupperware that is also made of a plastic that has defenses against free radicals, thus limiting the potential health concern of angry freedom fighters- and on occasion, reheating spaghetti sauce.

A shinobi is only as powerful as his tupperware.

 

* * *

 

(1) Kamui (Jikūkan Idō) users may experience varying results with the proper grasping of Material realities.

(2) See the Glossary provided at the end of this book for shopping comparisons.


	2. Container Capacity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The following is a continuation from Chapter 2: Container Capacity; excerpts are from "From Within the Total Perspective Vortex: Vol. XI." All rights belong to Uchiha Itachi. Posted with permission for educational purposes.]

Now that we have discussed in thorough detail the significance of material illusion, it is time we have delved into the heart of the matter: the **capacity** of one's Container.

Much like the man who assumes the distant mountains are truly real, a shinobi will frequently create for himself a prison of **boundaries** based on what he believes to be 'facts.' For example, many people believed that Uchiha Madara, a co-founder of Konohagakure, was dead, simply because they thought him too old to possibly have survived this long- when in fact, he had been living a fairly successful life in Hollywood (is this fact an illusion? If you don't know the answer to this question with absolute iron-certainty, then keep reading.) Thus, the foolish have the alarming tendency to assume that Madara has been dead for quite some time.(1) 

> _[For a free brochure on how to join the **Church of Madara** , simply fill out the enclosed card taped to the dust jacket of this book. Limited Time Offer.]*_

It is undoubtedly important for a shinobi to know his personal limits. However, he must realize that every Container is fraught by these illusions, just as anything else he experiences in the 'real' world. Nobody expected me to turn into a murder of crows, for example, and would I have expected that I'd be capable of this when I was five years old? Possibly, but that is besides the point. The point is that by acknowledging that your limits may be entirely mental, you may then proceed to attempt to transcend your perceived limits(2)- thus becoming an exceptionally powerful Container.

In light of this insight, it is therefore reasonable to assume that a mere plastic tupperware's usefulness may increase tenfold if you simply find one that's larger than usual. If one's Container is larger, you may fit more food in it, which in turn enables one ot eat more, which in turn makes you stronger.

With the correct discipline and training, a shinobi may one day become a fine tupperware.

  

* * *

 

(1) Little brothers are especially prone to this level of foolishness; however, many varieties of shinobi are susceptible. See Table 3.1 in the Index for medical information.

(2) Transcendence of limits may or may not include the invention of new jutsus. For a complete and definitive list of all possible New Techniques, see Table 12.8 ("Variants of Rasengan") and Table 12.9 ("Mangekyō Sharingan Tree").

*Brochures addressed to 'Daddy Madara' will not be accepted. Please print first and last name clearly in the boxed fields. PO Box addresses not accepted. Donations gladly accepted.


	3. *note

            

_My brother is fixated on plastic containers. I don't understand why he sent me this book. Maybe there's a hidden meaning I'm not grasping, it seems pointless. I fail to follow him. For now, I've sent in the [Madara] brochure. Until I get results, I'll keep reading._

**Translated by Google.**


End file.
